Hey stranger, I want you to catch me like a cold.

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systemofadowny:

People seem to care more about other people’s lives than their own, these days. 

naughtynacirema:

thefandomer:

welllllokay:

The best.

THE LAST ONE THOUGH

I’M DYING

I PLAYED THESE AT A PARTY THIS YEAR.

I got something like “The main event at my birthday party will be…”

And my answer: “The Assassination of President Lincoln.”

humorcat:

darrynek:

the nominees are

  • leonardo dicaprio
  • leonardo dicaprio
  • leonardo dicaprio
  • leonardo dicaprio
  • leonardo dicaprio

and the winner is *opens envelope*

  • adele

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited

(Source: darrynek, via maxybonn)